We tried once again to contact The Romo Sexual about posting our weekly Dallas Cowboys blog, and once again we were turned down. He has refused any public appearances or blog postings of any kind until his beloved Tony Romo is back in full pads lining up behind center again.
However, we do have a wonderful surprise for you today. The Romo Sexual's wife, The Brady Sexual, has decided to post this week's Dallas Cowboys blog...in song!
Without further ado, here is The Brady Sexual performing, Wade Oughta Know...
Friday, October 31, 2008
Friday, October 24, 2008
The Top Ten Reasons the Dallas Cowboys will NOT make the playoffs this year.
Good morning, football fans. I know The Romo Sexual usually handles our NFL blogs, but when I contacted him last night about writing on how quickly the Cowboys have spiraled out of control, he was sobbing uncontrollably and muttered something about he was sitting in his bath tub while making toast. Not really sure what that was about.
At any rate, here it is: THE TOP 10 REASONS THE DALLAS COWBOYS WILL NOT MAKE THE PLAYOFFS THIS YEAR.
10. SPECIAL TEAMS ABOUT AS SPECIAL AS A TURD IN A ZIP LOCK BAG.
This was one of the major reasons the Cowboys lost in their first home playoff game in 8 years last season. It was supposed to have been addressed in the offseason, then again in training camp, then again after week 4, and now it is supposedly being addressed again. Wade, let me give you a little help: Tell your players on special teams to tackle the guy running with the ball, not bounce off of him ala Manu Ginobli.
9. CONTRARY TO WHAT YOU GUYS MAY BELIEVE, IT IS NOT CONSIDERED A NICE GESTURE TO CONTINUALLY GIVE THE OTHER TEAM THE BALL.
The Cowboys have a -6 turnover ratio so far this season. No team can be expected to win when they keep coughing up the ball. This one goes to you especially, Marion Barber: It’s called STICK’EM. LOOK INTO IT!!!!
8. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO THE LEAGUE’S MOST DOMINATING OFFENSIVE LINE?
The Cowboys have the second largest offensive line in the NFL, averaging 322 lbs a piece. Last year, they were clearly the most dominant as Tony Romo was consistently seen running over to the vendor in the stands and ordering a hot dog, then pulling out his cell phone to text Jessica each time before he threw the ball. Now, it seems like he’s running for his life after every snap. OMG! WTF??
7. INJURIES, INJURIES, SON OF A BITCH MORE INJURIES!
This is where I’m a little prone to give the Cowboys a break.(No pun intended) Kind of hard to win without your Pro Bowl Quarterback, your starting Left Guard, your superstar back-up running back/special teams ace, your Pro Bowl cornerback, your Pro Bowl safety, your back-up safety, your Pro Bowl punter, and your stud 1rst round pick back-up linebacker. As I’m typing this I think I just heard Greg Ellis twist an ankle.
6. THE DEFENSIVE LINE MAKES OPPOSING OFFENSES FEEL ABOUT AS MUCH DOOM AND GLOOM AS THE EASTER BUNNY AND RAINBOW BRITE.
I know that DeMarcus Ware is currently leading the league with 9 sacks, but do we know how many he would have if he stopped letting quarterbacks get out of his arms? 50? 60?? I wish the “muffed sack” were an official NFL stat, because I’m sure the Cowboys have already broken the NFL record after just 7 games. At least we could celebrate that.
5. RED JESUS LOOKS MORE THIS YEAR LIKE LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD…AS SHE’S GETTING HER ASS KICKED!
Jason “Red Jesus” Garret is the most highly paid coordinator/assistant coach in the league. He is actually making more money than three head coaches. And all of this is based on one season of work. He was brilliant last year, but this year he seems to be sleep walking through the season. Do I run the ball? Do I not run the ball? It’s really not that hard of a question! And by the way, are we sure he’s not struggling on Sundays because he was up all night Saturday singing cover for a cross-dressing band at a gay lounge? He looks like he’s wearing mascara every game! Look this Sunday, you’ll see what I’m talking about.
4. JERRY JONES IS ONLY THREE SEMESTERS AWAY FROM GRADUATING THE AL DAVIS SCHOOL OF HOW TO COMPLETELY F*CK UP AN NFL FRANCHISE.
He hired a coach simply because he knows that coach will not stand up to him. He keeps throwing money at the problem, i.e. offensive Roy Williams. He keeps reminding the players that HE’s in control, not the coach. And he can’t seem to figure out that Popcorn does not a three squares a day make.
3. T.O. NEEDS TO STOP WORRYING ABOUT GETTING THE BALL AND START WORRYING ABOUT GETTING OPEN.
This one is a no-brainer. I know he keeps blaming double and triple coverage, but come on. We all know the truth, T.O. You don’t like getting bumped at the line of scrimmage because you’re a pansy! When you get bumped at the line of scrimmage, and there is a safety 30 yds down field, that’s not double coverage! That’s you being a pansy! Now stop being a pansy! Stop it!
2. THE SECONDARY COVERS OPPOSING OFFENSES ABOUT AS CONSISTENTLY AS BRITNEY SPEARS COVERS HER WHO-WHO!
This is probably the most painful one to watch each week. Every time, and I mean EVERY TIME they’ve got their opponents at third and long, somehow a wide receiver seems to get open 25 yards down the field. How is this even possible? What are these guys doing back there? I know Terrence Newman is hurt, but it wasn’t any different the two games he was there. I know Pac Man is out making it rain some place but it wasn’t any different when he was in there either. The Cowboys need to start pulling people in off the street and giving them a try. Hell, it couldn’t possibly be any worse!
And the #1 reason the Dallas Cowboys will not make the post season this year…
I don’t need to say anything more. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go throw up.
At any rate, here it is: THE TOP 10 REASONS THE DALLAS COWBOYS WILL NOT MAKE THE PLAYOFFS THIS YEAR.
10. SPECIAL TEAMS ABOUT AS SPECIAL AS A TURD IN A ZIP LOCK BAG.
This was one of the major reasons the Cowboys lost in their first home playoff game in 8 years last season. It was supposed to have been addressed in the offseason, then again in training camp, then again after week 4, and now it is supposedly being addressed again. Wade, let me give you a little help: Tell your players on special teams to tackle the guy running with the ball, not bounce off of him ala Manu Ginobli.
9. CONTRARY TO WHAT YOU GUYS MAY BELIEVE, IT IS NOT CONSIDERED A NICE GESTURE TO CONTINUALLY GIVE THE OTHER TEAM THE BALL.
The Cowboys have a -6 turnover ratio so far this season. No team can be expected to win when they keep coughing up the ball. This one goes to you especially, Marion Barber: It’s called STICK’EM. LOOK INTO IT!!!!
8. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO THE LEAGUE’S MOST DOMINATING OFFENSIVE LINE?
The Cowboys have the second largest offensive line in the NFL, averaging 322 lbs a piece. Last year, they were clearly the most dominant as Tony Romo was consistently seen running over to the vendor in the stands and ordering a hot dog, then pulling out his cell phone to text Jessica each time before he threw the ball. Now, it seems like he’s running for his life after every snap. OMG! WTF??
7. INJURIES, INJURIES, SON OF A BITCH MORE INJURIES!
This is where I’m a little prone to give the Cowboys a break.(No pun intended) Kind of hard to win without your Pro Bowl Quarterback, your starting Left Guard, your superstar back-up running back/special teams ace, your Pro Bowl cornerback, your Pro Bowl safety, your back-up safety, your Pro Bowl punter, and your stud 1rst round pick back-up linebacker. As I’m typing this I think I just heard Greg Ellis twist an ankle.
6. THE DEFENSIVE LINE MAKES OPPOSING OFFENSES FEEL ABOUT AS MUCH DOOM AND GLOOM AS THE EASTER BUNNY AND RAINBOW BRITE.
I know that DeMarcus Ware is currently leading the league with 9 sacks, but do we know how many he would have if he stopped letting quarterbacks get out of his arms? 50? 60?? I wish the “muffed sack” were an official NFL stat, because I’m sure the Cowboys have already broken the NFL record after just 7 games. At least we could celebrate that.
5. RED JESUS LOOKS MORE THIS YEAR LIKE LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD…AS SHE’S GETTING HER ASS KICKED!
Jason “Red Jesus” Garret is the most highly paid coordinator/assistant coach in the league. He is actually making more money than three head coaches. And all of this is based on one season of work. He was brilliant last year, but this year he seems to be sleep walking through the season. Do I run the ball? Do I not run the ball? It’s really not that hard of a question! And by the way, are we sure he’s not struggling on Sundays because he was up all night Saturday singing cover for a cross-dressing band at a gay lounge? He looks like he’s wearing mascara every game! Look this Sunday, you’ll see what I’m talking about.
4. JERRY JONES IS ONLY THREE SEMESTERS AWAY FROM GRADUATING THE AL DAVIS SCHOOL OF HOW TO COMPLETELY F*CK UP AN NFL FRANCHISE.
He hired a coach simply because he knows that coach will not stand up to him. He keeps throwing money at the problem, i.e. offensive Roy Williams. He keeps reminding the players that HE’s in control, not the coach. And he can’t seem to figure out that Popcorn does not a three squares a day make.
3. T.O. NEEDS TO STOP WORRYING ABOUT GETTING THE BALL AND START WORRYING ABOUT GETTING OPEN.
This one is a no-brainer. I know he keeps blaming double and triple coverage, but come on. We all know the truth, T.O. You don’t like getting bumped at the line of scrimmage because you’re a pansy! When you get bumped at the line of scrimmage, and there is a safety 30 yds down field, that’s not double coverage! That’s you being a pansy! Now stop being a pansy! Stop it!
2. THE SECONDARY COVERS OPPOSING OFFENSES ABOUT AS CONSISTENTLY AS BRITNEY SPEARS COVERS HER WHO-WHO!
This is probably the most painful one to watch each week. Every time, and I mean EVERY TIME they’ve got their opponents at third and long, somehow a wide receiver seems to get open 25 yards down the field. How is this even possible? What are these guys doing back there? I know Terrence Newman is hurt, but it wasn’t any different the two games he was there. I know Pac Man is out making it rain some place but it wasn’t any different when he was in there either. The Cowboys need to start pulling people in off the street and giving them a try. Hell, it couldn’t possibly be any worse!
And the #1 reason the Dallas Cowboys will not make the post season this year…
I don’t need to say anything more. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go throw up.
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Cowboys/Giants
I just wanted to weigh in on a little debate that is going on out there in the sporting/cyber world.
Almost every sports site has the Cowboys ranked #1 in the power rankings, with the Giants “a very close second”. Foxsports.com even has the Giants ranked in first place with the Cowboys at #2.
Let’s look at the facts.
Both teams are 3-0, however the Cowboys beat the Browns, the Eagles, and the Packers, while the Giants have beaten the Redskins, the Rams, and the Bengals.
The combined record of the Cowboys’ opponents not including the three games against the Cowboys is 4-2. The combined record of the Giants’ opponents not including the three games against the Giants is 2-4. All three teams the Cowboys played were previously undefeated at the time the ‘boys played them, while all three opponents the Giants have faced were previously winless at the time the G-men played.
The Giants struggled against the virtually comotose Bengals while the only team the Cowboys struggled against was the Eagles. The Eagles, who blew out the Rams 38-3, and made the mighty Steelers, look like a sandlot team.
I know, I know, there is a thing to be said about chalk talk, and what actually happens on the field. And there is the old moniker, “that’s why they play the game.”
But anyone who ranks the Giants higher or even says the Giants are a “close second” is smoking something. The Giants may be the second best team, but the gap between #1 and #2 is bigger than the state of Texas. The Cowboys have a “pick your poison” offense.
Gonna double team T.O.? Fine, will just throw a 50 yard bomb to Austin.
Gonna double team Austin and T.O.? Meet Mister Witten.
Gonna send in all of your DB’s to stop T.O., Austin, and Witten? The Barbarian will just run it down your throat!
Think you can smash him up? Just try to catch Felix!
And don’t even think about getting past this offensive line!
And the Defense is no slouch either, as they showed Sunday night, giving Rodgers all kinds of fits, and sacking the extremely mobile quarterback 5 times! This finally looks like a classic Wade Phillips defense, and they’re going to give opposing offenses hell all year long.
Keyshawn Johnson came close to saying it last night on Sportscenter, and I think the way they made the Packers (who were supposed to win that game, by the way) look like they weren’t even playing in the same league, I think it’s time for us Cowboys fans to start thinking big. Like real big.
Not quite ready to say it yet… but: 16 and….
(By the way, don't let the lack of blowout wins frighten you. The Cowboys could have easily beaten the Browns by 4 or 5 touchdowns, and could've beaten the Packers by 3 or 4. Not all coaches believe in running up the score. *Cough.Bill Belichick.Cough*)
Almost every sports site has the Cowboys ranked #1 in the power rankings, with the Giants “a very close second”. Foxsports.com even has the Giants ranked in first place with the Cowboys at #2.
Let’s look at the facts.
Both teams are 3-0, however the Cowboys beat the Browns, the Eagles, and the Packers, while the Giants have beaten the Redskins, the Rams, and the Bengals.
The combined record of the Cowboys’ opponents not including the three games against the Cowboys is 4-2. The combined record of the Giants’ opponents not including the three games against the Giants is 2-4. All three teams the Cowboys played were previously undefeated at the time the ‘boys played them, while all three opponents the Giants have faced were previously winless at the time the G-men played.
The Giants struggled against the virtually comotose Bengals while the only team the Cowboys struggled against was the Eagles. The Eagles, who blew out the Rams 38-3, and made the mighty Steelers, look like a sandlot team.
I know, I know, there is a thing to be said about chalk talk, and what actually happens on the field. And there is the old moniker, “that’s why they play the game.”
But anyone who ranks the Giants higher or even says the Giants are a “close second” is smoking something. The Giants may be the second best team, but the gap between #1 and #2 is bigger than the state of Texas. The Cowboys have a “pick your poison” offense.
Gonna double team T.O.? Fine, will just throw a 50 yard bomb to Austin.
Gonna double team Austin and T.O.? Meet Mister Witten.
Gonna send in all of your DB’s to stop T.O., Austin, and Witten? The Barbarian will just run it down your throat!
Think you can smash him up? Just try to catch Felix!
And don’t even think about getting past this offensive line!
And the Defense is no slouch either, as they showed Sunday night, giving Rodgers all kinds of fits, and sacking the extremely mobile quarterback 5 times! This finally looks like a classic Wade Phillips defense, and they’re going to give opposing offenses hell all year long.
Keyshawn Johnson came close to saying it last night on Sportscenter, and I think the way they made the Packers (who were supposed to win that game, by the way) look like they weren’t even playing in the same league, I think it’s time for us Cowboys fans to start thinking big. Like real big.
Not quite ready to say it yet… but: 16 and….
(By the way, don't let the lack of blowout wins frighten you. The Cowboys could have easily beaten the Browns by 4 or 5 touchdowns, and could've beaten the Packers by 3 or 4. Not all coaches believe in running up the score. *Cough.Bill Belichick.Cough*)
Friday, July 11, 2008
Fun with Vinny
With the NFL season fast approaching, I saw this as an opportune time to play everyone’s favorite annual game, “Pick the Return of Vinny!”
In “Pick the Return of Vinny” you get to place bets* on when Vinny Testaverde will get up off of what seems to be the world’s most uncomfortable couch, call an NFL team, and start that following Sunday.
The game works by me giving you the odds, and you can send in the money to place your bet*. All bets* must be placed and all funds must be received by Thursday, July 24th, the day before NFL training camps begin.
You can send the money for your bets* to:
James Westfall
Wichita Falls, TX 76308
Odds on when Vinny will come back:
1000 to 1: By the start of the playoffs.
750 to 1: By the end of training camp.
600 to 1: Week 8.
500 to 1: When Eli realizes that there are so many more important things to life than football. (Like having his new wife touch his genitalia. Obviously a completely new concept to him.)
400 to 1: Before Brett Favre.
300 to 1: When Jon Gruden finally takes over the world with his army of backup quarterbacks.
200 to 1: When Tom Brady sprains his thumb, leading Bill Belichick to rip off his remaining quarterbacks’ heads, and eat out their souls out of pure anger.
100 to 1: The Bears’ third practice.
50 to 1: The Bears’ second practice.
1 to 1: The Bears’ first practice.
1 to 10: Before Rex Grossman ever gets on the plane.
1 to 100: As soon as Lovie Smith reads this blog and remembers that his options at quarterback are Rex Grossman and Kyle Orton.
Odds on who Vinny will play for:
1000 to 1: The Patriots
975 to 1: The Colts
950 to 1: The Cowboys
300 to 1: The Panthers
100 to 1: The Giants
50 to 1: The Packers
1 to 1: The Buccaneers
1 to 1000: The Raiders
1 to 100,000,000: The Bears
Remember to get your bets* in before the start of training camp.
Have fun and good luck!
*All money sent in for bets will not be actual bets so much as they will be fees for the fun and enjoyment of playing the game. Make all checks payable to James Westfall, and add as many zeros as you can fit in the little box. If you bet correctly, you will not be sent any winnings, but will forever have the satisfaction of knowing that you won. And every man truly believes that that is the most important thing in life. Except of course, for Eli.
In “Pick the Return of Vinny” you get to place bets* on when Vinny Testaverde will get up off of what seems to be the world’s most uncomfortable couch, call an NFL team, and start that following Sunday.
The game works by me giving you the odds, and you can send in the money to place your bet*. All bets* must be placed and all funds must be received by Thursday, July 24th, the day before NFL training camps begin.
You can send the money for your bets* to:
James Westfall
Wichita Falls, TX 76308
Odds on when Vinny will come back:
1000 to 1: By the start of the playoffs.
750 to 1: By the end of training camp.
600 to 1: Week 8.
500 to 1: When Eli realizes that there are so many more important things to life than football. (Like having his new wife touch his genitalia. Obviously a completely new concept to him.)
400 to 1: Before Brett Favre.
300 to 1: When Jon Gruden finally takes over the world with his army of backup quarterbacks.
200 to 1: When Tom Brady sprains his thumb, leading Bill Belichick to rip off his remaining quarterbacks’ heads, and eat out their souls out of pure anger.
100 to 1: The Bears’ third practice.
50 to 1: The Bears’ second practice.
1 to 1: The Bears’ first practice.
1 to 10: Before Rex Grossman ever gets on the plane.
1 to 100: As soon as Lovie Smith reads this blog and remembers that his options at quarterback are Rex Grossman and Kyle Orton.
Odds on who Vinny will play for:
1000 to 1: The Patriots
975 to 1: The Colts
950 to 1: The Cowboys
300 to 1: The Panthers
100 to 1: The Giants
50 to 1: The Packers
1 to 1: The Buccaneers
1 to 1000: The Raiders
1 to 100,000,000: The Bears
Remember to get your bets* in before the start of training camp.
Have fun and good luck!
*All money sent in for bets will not be actual bets so much as they will be fees for the fun and enjoyment of playing the game. Make all checks payable to James Westfall, and add as many zeros as you can fit in the little box. If you bet correctly, you will not be sent any winnings, but will forever have the satisfaction of knowing that you won. And every man truly believes that that is the most important thing in life. Except of course, for Eli.
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
Rich Shea At His Best
I got this from Awful Announcing and had to pass it on. Rich Shea was the color commentator for the Nathan's hot dog eating contest this year and he got off some classics.
The Lohan reference had me rolling!
The Lohan reference had me rolling!
Thursday, May 15, 2008
A Calming Effect
This, as reported on ESPN.com:
Would things have played out differently if Ricky Williams had been on Cedric Benson's boat earlier this month? Williams told the Austin American-Statesman for Thursday's editions that he declined an invitation from Benson to spend a Saturday on Benson's boat in Lake Travis, Texas.
Williams told the American-Statesman that things would have played out differently if he had been on Benson's boat.
"I think if I had come down, things might have worked out a little bit differently," Williams, who is entering the final year of his contract with the Dolphins, told the newspaper. "I find I have a calming influence on people I'm around."
This got me thinking about what might just have gone down if Ricky Williams and his “calming influence” had been aboard…
Colorado River Authority #1: Excuse me son, I’m going to need you to step over here.
Benson: What’s the problem ossifer?
Colorado River Authority #1: Have you been drinking, son?
Benson: I ain’t yo son, man.
Colorado River Authority #2: He didn’t ask if you were his son. He asked you if you had been drinking!
(The door from below deck opens, and a magical, mystical cloud of smoke arises. Out comes no other than, Ricky Williams.)
Williams: Yo, man. What’s happenin?
Colorado River Authority # 1: My god, son. You’re on fire!
Williams: Naw, man. That’s just my cloud of love that follows me everywhere I go.
CRA # 2: (Holding up a flashlight) You’re eyes are blood-red. Have you been doing drugs down in there?
Williams: Look, fellas. Why don’t we all just discuss this like civil adults over a batch of my 'Ricky Williams Happy Brownies'.
CRA #1: Well, it has been a long night, and I’m all out of doughnuts.
CRA #2: Yeah, and I’ve gotta go to my girlfriends house after I get off, and I can’t eat anything over there, so what the hell?
(Each man has a brownie)
Flash forward to 2 hours later:
All four men, Benson, Williams, and the two Colorado River Authority Agents are sitting in a pile on the deck of Benson’s boat. They all have fudge and brownie crumbs on their faces, and they are all laughing hysterically.
CRA # 1: You know, Ricky, you’re all right.
CRA #2: Yeah. Hey, Ced, sorry to hear your coach is such a bitch, man.
(More Laughter)
Benson: That’s cool, man.
CRA #1: Hey, guys. I’ve got a confession to make. I only pulled your boat over because you’re all black!
(Huge roar of laughter)
CRA #2: I’ve got a confession. My girlfriend I go to see each night when I get off…(to Authority Agent #1) it’s really your wife!
(Raucous laughter)
CRA #2: And believe me…I DO get off!!!
(Laughter continues)
CRA #1: That’s okay, when you’re at my house sleeping with my wife, I’m at your house banging your 15 year old daughter!
(Tumultuous laughter)
CRA #1: She had to have three abortions just last month!
(Roaring laughter)
CRA #2: This has been great. I love you guys.
CRA #1: Yeah, thanks, Ricky. Thanks, Ced. You guys are the best.
Williams: The Cloud of Love has once again bestowed upon us a calming influence.
(More laughter)
CRA #1: I don’t know what the hell you just said, but pass me another brownie, brownie.
(Raging laughter)
Join us next time for another exciting episode of Ricky Williams and the Cloud of Love, brought to you in part, by Ricky’s calming influence.
Would things have played out differently if Ricky Williams had been on Cedric Benson's boat earlier this month? Williams told the Austin American-Statesman for Thursday's editions that he declined an invitation from Benson to spend a Saturday on Benson's boat in Lake Travis, Texas.
Williams told the American-Statesman that things would have played out differently if he had been on Benson's boat.
"I think if I had come down, things might have worked out a little bit differently," Williams, who is entering the final year of his contract with the Dolphins, told the newspaper. "I find I have a calming influence on people I'm around."
This got me thinking about what might just have gone down if Ricky Williams and his “calming influence” had been aboard…
Colorado River Authority #1: Excuse me son, I’m going to need you to step over here.
Benson: What’s the problem ossifer?
Colorado River Authority #1: Have you been drinking, son?
Benson: I ain’t yo son, man.
Colorado River Authority #2: He didn’t ask if you were his son. He asked you if you had been drinking!
(The door from below deck opens, and a magical, mystical cloud of smoke arises. Out comes no other than, Ricky Williams.)
Williams: Yo, man. What’s happenin?
Colorado River Authority # 1: My god, son. You’re on fire!
Williams: Naw, man. That’s just my cloud of love that follows me everywhere I go.
CRA # 2: (Holding up a flashlight) You’re eyes are blood-red. Have you been doing drugs down in there?
Williams: Look, fellas. Why don’t we all just discuss this like civil adults over a batch of my 'Ricky Williams Happy Brownies'.
CRA #1: Well, it has been a long night, and I’m all out of doughnuts.
CRA #2: Yeah, and I’ve gotta go to my girlfriends house after I get off, and I can’t eat anything over there, so what the hell?
(Each man has a brownie)
Flash forward to 2 hours later:
All four men, Benson, Williams, and the two Colorado River Authority Agents are sitting in a pile on the deck of Benson’s boat. They all have fudge and brownie crumbs on their faces, and they are all laughing hysterically.
CRA # 1: You know, Ricky, you’re all right.
CRA #2: Yeah. Hey, Ced, sorry to hear your coach is such a bitch, man.
(More Laughter)
Benson: That’s cool, man.
CRA #1: Hey, guys. I’ve got a confession to make. I only pulled your boat over because you’re all black!
(Huge roar of laughter)
CRA #2: I’ve got a confession. My girlfriend I go to see each night when I get off…(to Authority Agent #1) it’s really your wife!
(Raucous laughter)
CRA #2: And believe me…I DO get off!!!
(Laughter continues)
CRA #1: That’s okay, when you’re at my house sleeping with my wife, I’m at your house banging your 15 year old daughter!
(Tumultuous laughter)
CRA #1: She had to have three abortions just last month!
(Roaring laughter)
CRA #2: This has been great. I love you guys.
CRA #1: Yeah, thanks, Ricky. Thanks, Ced. You guys are the best.
Williams: The Cloud of Love has once again bestowed upon us a calming influence.
(More laughter)
CRA #1: I don’t know what the hell you just said, but pass me another brownie, brownie.
(Raging laughter)
Join us next time for another exciting episode of Ricky Williams and the Cloud of Love, brought to you in part, by Ricky’s calming influence.
Friday, May 9, 2008
Charles Barkley Framed!!
Just like our good friend and mentor, Ron Burgundy, Charles Barkley was set up to fail. Damn you Ernie Johnson!!!!
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