Complaint Box. Form 1032

Form 1032
Subject: Women's College Basketball
Complaint against: ESPN

To Whom It May Concern:

I am writing in regards to the constant barrage of Women's College Basketball all over ESPN. I can't even turn it on ESPN without there either being a game on, highlights of a game on, or a panel of people sitting around talking about women's games.
Quit pretending any of us care about the women's playoffs! We don't! None of them can dunk, they don't fly around the court, they don't post each other up and knock each other down...you know, the reasons we ACUTALLY watch college basketball. Sure, I know that any single one of these girls would destroy Noisewater and I in a game of 2 on 1. But, that's just my point! I just talked about Noisewater and I going 2 on 1 with a chick and I didn't even get excited! That's just not right! These girls are butt-ugly. If I don't enjoy the basketball action when I'm watching it, the least you could do is make the players hot. Hell, women's college softball players are at least hot enough to make me watch for about a half hour until I realize "Good Eats" is on.
So now the Women's final four is coming up. So What! Nobody cares! Damn you, ESPN, I just want to watch Sportscenter and not hear about the women's final four. Is that too much to ask? Everytime it's on, we gotta look at that panel of four chicks talking about the women's tournament. Yes, I know the blonde one is really hot, but come on. All she does is talk about women's college basketball! Think about it. Remember when you were in college, and you went on a date with that smoking hot babe, and all she did was talk about women's rights, and how it's unfair that men make more money than women all night? Did you call her back even if you thought you could get laid?
Well, yeah, I did too. But it still sucked when she talked!
All I'm saying is... please, ESPN, for the love of all mankind, STOP WITH THE DAMN WOMEN'S COLLEGE BASKETBALL. WE DON'T CARE!!!!

Thank you for your time.
James Westfall