Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Nobody Cares

So, I'm watching the NBA playoffs tonight, and after watching the Mavericks march one step closer to their annual 1rst round playoff exit, I decided to watch the Suns and Spurs, hoping to see at least one Texas team win in the last two nights.
After watching nearly 4 straight hours of NBA basketball, I started to notice a recurring theme. No, it wasn't that the officiating was bad. No, it wasn't that Charles Barkley is opinionated. And no, it wasn't that I think we've got a national crisis on our hands, because at one point I saw three white players on the court at the same time, meaning there is obviously a decline in black NBA players, and we need to pull congress together to discuss this tragedy, pay millions of dollars to study the decline in black NBA players, and maybe even have Bill Russell's wife speak at a press confrence about how this is a sad and shameful day in American history.
No, what I've noticed is that the "NBA Cares". That's right, the NBA Cares. We get it. You really don't have to spend every single commercial break reminding us. They do community service, great. But can they hit clutch free throws with the game on the line?
Now look, don't misunderstand what I'm saying here. Community service and helping out those less fortunate than you is a very important thing. It is, I get that. In fact, just the other day I found the opportunity to help a homeless guy I saw in the street. I walked within a safe 20 yards of him, and yelled, "Hey, Bum! Get out of the street before one of those cars nail you!"
But do I really need to see Michael Finnley sit in a bulldozer, pose for a photo, then get on a ladder and put two meaningless strokes of paint on the side of a house that doesn't even need painting, and pose for another photo? Really? Do I really need to see that?
I don't think so.
The NBA Cares. Great. Just stop trying to make me care that you care, because I don't.

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